Negative

Sadly, the pregnancy test was negative today.

We don't understand what God is doing, we don't know what lies in our future and we are hurting immensely right now.

We are also mourning the loss of the two children we will never get to see grow up.

I know that God is in control, but I am also thankful that we have a God that will allow us to feel...to be sad, angry, hurt, lost...holding us in His arms all along.

Thank you to our friends and family who have supported us and will continue to support us through these trials.

Waiting and more waiting...

Well, after daily visits to the doctor for about the past two weeks (including some weekends!) we are now having to just wait it out. I made it through the bedrest. I was getting a little stir crazy, but I managed to keep myself busy. I did a lot of knitting, worked on a scrapbook in bed, and watched lots of television and DVD's. Saturday rolled around and I could actually get out some. Funny thing was, I was so tired and started to feel like I was getting a cold or something...finally free and now did not want to do much but take a nap. Go figure...

Of course, the next thing that ran through my mind was "are these pregnancy symptoms?" We are now in the two week wait. This really is the hardest part. Waiting to take that official pregnancy test. I ran across an article today while doing some surfing that tickled my funny bone. It was describing things to keep you busy during the TWW. Here is the link if your would like to read the entire list:
http://bellybelly.com.au/articles/conception/two-week-wait-activity-list

It suggested things from walking around the neighborhood, making up your own fertility dance, and making a folic acid feast. You really shoud read #9...it is hysterical. I may do that tomorrow.

Number 13 involves audience participation. I am posting it below. Post your comments if you would like to participate and what day you will be taking. We need to fill though Friday folks...so here is your shot:

"13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family. On their assigned day they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant or not. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report to you if they had any “symptoms,” such as sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue… "

Ready for the challenge? This is not limited to just women, men you are welcome to participate as well! You can email or post comments to the blog with your reports...looking forward to see how your day goes!

Transfer Day!!

Today was our big transfer day!

Here are our little embryos! The two embryos on the right labeled with the small T in a circle above are the ones that were transferred. The remaining one in the upper left side is the one that has been progressing poorly. It arrested and is no longer growing. You can't tell much from the photo, but it was getting more dark patches which indicated it had truly stopped developing.

The embryos that were transferred today are still a little slow developing. He said they had not made it to the blastocyst stage. He did see some progression, but they are just a little slower in developing. This might lower the chances they will attach to the uterine wall, so that will be one thing to be praying about this week! Embryos have been transferred at early stages and have made it, so these certainly can too with God's help! On another note, the embryologist said he has read some research (which I was reading just last night as well) that ICSI embryos that are female seem to develop slower than male embryos. Maybe we will have girls?????

The transfer was easy and pretty quick once we got into the room. They use a small catheter to transfer the embryos in and then I sit back and relax in the chair, reclining for about an hour.

Richard and I prayed and then took some goofy pictures, telling our little embryos to hang on because we think we will be fun parents!

I am home now and confined to rest for the next several days.

Here are our prayer requests: 1. That these two little embryos continue to grow and develop in God's time. 2. That these two little ones attach and grow (did I just say I wanted twins????!!!!)